We are all just a little bit crazy.
Everyone is striving so hard to act, look, feel and function as “normal”-but Im more and more convinced that really, we are all on the crazy spectrum. Yes, even you.
Last weekend I took the boys to Birmingham, AL (where they greet you wearing big As instead of Gs and say, “Roll Tide!” instead of the normal “hello” or better yet “Go Dawgs”). Our wonderful adoption agency hosted a reunion for all of the families that have adopted from Costa Rica…and some prospective families as well. I knew I HAD to go because my two best adoption friends were going to be there in real life and our precious lawyer Yolanda who is more like our Costa Rican fairy godmother.
Me and these two friends have texted back and forth for about 2 years on all sorts of topics and sometimes chose to speak in only Facebook Stickers when words failed us, but we had never hung out face to face… Matt had football tickets already and a trip planned to FSU (its an annual trip he takes with either the girls or the boys and meets his best friend from college).) SO just me and the boys packed up and headed to AL.
It dawned on me as we were driving that this was the first time we had taken just a “mom and boys” trip. We divide up a lot around here. Im pretty sure I have never gone grocery shopping with all 4 kids in over a year. And its SO MUCH easier with 2 than it is with 4. They were awesome the whole weekend. Spanish church, tons of new people, staying at with a family we didn’t know, soccer conflicts and all.
There was a lot that could have gone wrong. 15 families with biological and adopted older kids, unfamiliar places… and yet, it was really great. I often feel like no one really “gets” us. The mental ping pong of working, thinking, praying, planning for everyone to be “ok”… “are the girls adjusting ok? are the boys attaching to us as their family? is everyone behaving at school? laundry, laundry, laundry, work, school, snack, rest, baths, did you wash your hands?….” you get the picture. Every parent feels it, but its multiplied times 100% when you interrupt a family like we did…. interrupt in the best of all ways.
But I was there, and had two girls happily watching football with their dad, two boys who were thankfully behaving (in front of a ton of people) and talking to a family who will be traveling soon. Sitting in the yard watching all sorts of kids dark skinned with light skinned siblings and moms and dad-not sure who went with who… sitting with my dear friends in real time… laughing and yet feeling so understood… it was bliss.
The normal questions were tossed around of “how many kids do you have? how many are you adopting? what are their ages?” and the answers being those consisting of -not keeping birth order, adopting older kids, traveling mid year, spending all sorts of money, leaving jobs for months and staying in a foreign country where you don’t know the language…. and I just had to smile… because we literally all sound completely nuts. I was SO thankful to be on this end of crazy, but needless to say we all just sound crazy.
But who isn’t? Everyone is on a journey and often it just sounds crazy. Leaving an stable job for a risky one, having a baby later in life, moving from the suburbs to the inner city, starting a nonprofit, a church….To some people the crazy happens to them, a chronic illness, learning disability, job loss, the list goes on and on.
Our student ministry at church is getting ready to do a series called Storms. And our student pastor said that there are three categories of seasons in life. Everyone is either- in a storm, just coming out of a storm or about to go into one. (depressing maybe? but isn’t it true?) We’ve got to know that we are going to know that we are going to make it through, and if we are not in the middle of the crazy storm…look to those who are and do all we can to help.
Im so thankful for this fall…. its still waking up at 5am and go go go. But the gut level exhaustion that was my life last year seems far far away. Love has grown where hope was. Everything seems less fragile and more stable. Routine is still king, but it can break a bit here and there. We all have a groove and we are mostly in it. Dominic has turned into a star student evidently, and has gotten the highest behavior mark for the past 3 days. WHAT in the world!?!? There is still a long way to go and just a little thing can throw us off for a week or two… but its a good crazy around here.
So moms and dads in the thick of it-like I’m not :)- but if you are traveling, just home or in that first year….
what I wish is that…. I could have chilled out a bit (but thats a life theme…not sure if its possible)
I wish I could have enjoyed the crazy
Keep up the routine and hard work….and know you won’t have to live in it forever as strongly as you are now.
Try to hope and dream for your kids and your family…but if you can’t, know it will come again.
And when you feel completely nuts, know that everyone is.
((nothing says road trip like 10am cheese puffs))
((all of the families at Spanish church))
(( Audra, me and Sara– LIFE savers and God’s great blessings in my life!))
((backyard soccer bliss))
((Yolanda, kissing brothers, selfies, purple dinosaurs and lots and lots of kids))