2 out of 3….

Today I remembered that I have a blog! Welcome back Laurie! SHEESH! Its been B.U.S.Y around here…on multiple fronts. The end of school is like December for elementary parents…and its sneaky because you THINK its going to be slowing down–but work and school for us all are PACKED. I found out that I have this interesting genetic mutation, (read: I am totally fine!) but there is a lot of info on this, what to do, and just the reality that has been keeping my mind pretty occupied.  In short, I am really thankful to know-and feel blessed by modern medicine to be able to do something about it…. I am sure more info will be coming on that…but for now–thats good enough.   SO with school, work and that–I have neglected, this sweet little blog that lacks pictures. *sigh*

SO. THIS is good news! We are starting our Dossier this week! “what does that mean” you say? (insert googling “dossier” so I can tell you)

DOSSIER: A collection of documents about a particular person, event, or subject: “we have a dossier on him”; “a dossier of complaints”.

SO there you have it…we are compiling a dossier on us for our little boy! I have been looking towards this like it was a HUGE mountain-and I honestly was kind of dreading it ….but we opened up the dossier package yesterday on line–and it was 32 points… but it really didnt look that bad. I am going to do what any working mom of a teacher who is off during the summer who is embarking on a 32 point collection of documents would do… I am going to get “business Matt” on this!

We are very different people. When Dave Ramsey (Financial Peace) talks about couples he says there is always a “nerd” and a “free spirit”. I am by far the “nerd”–and I am really ok with this. “Party Matt” as I like to call him -makes our world colorful, tasty, spontaneous, and a bit less organized and secure than I would choose….But its GREAT! I need him so much to be who God wants me to be.  Left to myself I would be very clean, organized and dull. BUT I am telling you, blog friends…when this man gets on something-he kills it. “Party Matt” morphs into “get it done Matt”.  Like a transformer.  He has revamped our finances and we are paying off (stupid) debt that we (stupidly) accumulated over the years of job transition, kids etc.  We are living on a budget–for real– for the first time in 12 years. Not starting one and stopping it– we are months into it and are SO thankful to be “acting our wage”. We have goals and are working towards them. He has lost 19 pounds (he would hate for me to tell you that–but if you see him you would know!).  And I have realized -finally- that given a list–Matt knocks it out of the park. SO what better use of these skills than to knock out a big chunk of this dossier over the summer?

Our adoption team thinks that it is very likely that we could get it done by September. SCORE! Then we will be 2/3s done. We look at our process like this:

1. Home Study (CHECK)

2. Dossier

3. Referral/travel/bring the baby home

Who really knows how long these steps will take…but we are working on them!

A lot of you have asked how the finances are going. We are again, about 1/3 done. SO we are right where we need to be. We will be doing another fundraising phase probably in September.  Thanks for asking, for praying and for giving!

One more week of school for the girls, two for Matt. Pool, beach, sleeping past 5.50am, dossier completion–here we come!

–Laurie

Bad Blogger…BAD BAD Blogger

Can I even call myself a blogger when it has been eternally TOO long since I have written…ok lets say since I have posted. Got a few of my infamous “half written” posts tucked away. A few stellar ideas… but alas–no newsy blog post.

I am going to write this and I am going to post it. tonight. even if this is all you get

WE ARE DONE WITH OUR HOMESTUDY!

WE have about $10,000 plus raised towards bringing this little boy home!
We shrunk our age range to 0-2…for a few reasons–but largely because it could take a long time to actually get him home and also for the best opportunity for attachment.

Whats next??

We begin (and prayerfully finish) our dossier this summer

Wait on the Lord and fundraise for the rest of the funding ($15,000-$20,000)

Lots of people are asking about our time frame—and truly we dont know. We know that we hope to get the paperwork all in by the time everyone goes back to school…and then its waiting for a referral…could be quick-could be a year. After our referral I think we get to travel to meet our little guy–then wait for the adoption to be official…yes thats right –we have to meet him, and then leave him, and then come back. THAT is when I might be a bit of an emotional mess… Right now Im doing great

In other news:

We got stuck in Texas over spring break because a series of tornados hit the exact area where we were….and had to take shelter in the airport stairwell–I was on the news. It was riveting.  Just about as riveting as the 15 hour drive home in the same clothes for 3 days bc our luggage got sent to GA and we couldnt make the flight. Sticky. I still have not worn that outfit again.

Chloe’s butterflies hatched…

School is wrapping up for everyone and we are pretty excited about summer (especially Matt who has never had a summer break!)

Ive been digging into some healthy food choices these days– for various reasons…but its been super fun taking walks to our literal neighborhood farm and getting fresh eggs, lettuce etc.  Local food is fun! Clean and yummy! Knowing your farmer is pretty cool…Eating simple, whole food is really great for the body! cant wait for the tomatoes. I think i might bypass on my struggling garden that I plant every year and just walk to the stand. These guys are pros–you should check them out: native sun farm on jimmy daniel road–they are just open on wednesdays but take preorders.

Work is in a fun stage…I am hiring my summer LDPs (I got approved for a second one! I think it might change my life), we are looking at expanding soon–yes we did just open under a year ago–but our kids have nearly doubled since then! We are doing some additions in the hallway that are beautiful and functional and its just fun. I love my job. I have an office. I have amazing people I work and serve with. And my preschoolers are just too cute! Teaching kids about God’s BIG LOVE for them is an awesome thing!

Its spring–and I can do anything in the spring. You should ask me for a favor–really. If the sun is shining and the flowers are blooming and the windows are open –chances are I will say yes. If i have exercised that day–its almost a guarantee !

So life here is just happy. Good. Stable.

There ! I did it! Posting!

 

The Latest…

So many of yall have asked how things are going these days! THANK YOU so much for being with us on this journey! It truly feels like we have 100 friends feeling our ups and downs with us… so here is the latest:

we had our LAST Home Study meeting in Atlanta where we THOUGHT we were going to be able to turn in all of our paperwork–but what I have noticed is one set of finalized paperwork just leads to another set of paperwork to do.  But that is just how it goes I guess.  We have been kicking out our on line training which honest has been a bit depressing..I THINK it is supposed to be informative and help people see the reality of the issues that kids and families face in adoption–and it HAS been good in the aspect of education, factual stuff…. but I could have probably done without the medical issues session. Its funny because all of the info states extremes and then has a disclaimer of how also many kids dont have any of these issues. It helps me every time though to go to church-to see the babies that I know have been adopted, to see how different they look (and sometimes how similar they look!) to their adoptive families and how natural it all is.  I pick up those babies, hug them, and while I am think of what could have been–if their parents would not have done the endless hours of paperwork, meetings, waiting …even years…for them. It is all apart of the process of God pointing us to the one child (for now) that He has for us.

We DID shrink our age range which is big news.  We were 0-5 and now we are 0-18 months.  We did this for a few reasons.  One, was after a great deal of thought and prayer (and a training session on Attachment) we began to understand the importance of bonding and care at the earliest age possible.  Now, any of yall that know-part of our journey has been this sweet family of 3 siblings from Haiti that were adopted much later in life…so it was really hard to shrink our range because I have a face and a friendship with 3 older kids who have been adopted…. part of “shrinking” our range almost felt like I was saying no to a handful of these kids-who I have grown to love.  BUT also, it is very likely that once we get our “referral” (when they tell us who our child is) then it will be 1 yr to 2 yrs before they can come home…WHICH by the way sounds like sheer torture… but we can just pray that God allows it to happen much quicker than that. We will be allowed to visit as often as we can I think-

It has been amazing–close to $2000 has been donated in the past 2-3 weeks. For real!  We have not done anything-our letters went out in like November… minus my infrequent blog posts-and even less frequent email updates… we have just been putting one foot in front of the other.  Crazy huh??

I MIGHT be going to Haiti this summer with Athens Church Global x (missions). My dear friend Amy is in charge of the program and my pastor/boss/friend Sean told me last week that he was “for me” going. I actually kind of need it. After reading Radical by David Platt a few years ago, and going to the Dominican Republic 2 years ago and seeing what being in a foreign poor country did for my heart, level of gratitude, dependance on the Lord, realization of His provision and passion for reaching people–esp people in our home city–I realized that I REALLY need to put my feet on foreign soil once a year. Not like sight seeing in Paris–but more like sweating it out in Africa, or digging a ditch in the DR or hosting children’s church in Haiti.  If you have never done a trip like this I HIGHLY urge you to go on one.  It is one of my hopes to take the girls on a trip like this after they turn 10-which for Paige is next year.  I would love to see her playing with children who have so much less than we do, but speak the same language of “play”.  One day…

My hesitation in going has been the fact that I will have to raise money to go on this trip-while we are raising money to get our little guy home…but this type of work is different-and God will prompt possibly different people to support this type of work…and I know that God has it all in His hands.

SO thats the latest. Our adoption specialist told us that after the Home Study is done we will be 1/3 done. I cant quite tell if that is encouraging or not… but its better than not 1/3 done right??

Until later-

Laurie

ALMOST DONE….well sort of

Tomorrow we all have our physicals for our home study. All four of us-same day….two different times but that is probably best We have gotten in with Dr Baker who every one raves about (we know him personally but every one of his patients thinks he is such an awesome doctor-which is a huge comfort in bringing our little boy home!)

 So many of you have asked lately about “how things are going with the adoption”… I just told one friend today–it is like 90% of our home study got done super fast but this last 10% has been DRAGGING.  Its not that WE have been dragging–just circumstantial dragging. It occurred to me today that the 10% dragging, maybe has been the Lord’s timing.  Why in the world do I not think this way first?? You would think at 36…being a Christian since I was in 8th grade-I would have learned to think “God’s timing” first. But alas…maybe through this process I will finally learn it! I seem to be learning the “God is fully in control” lesson–so there is hope

SO tomorrow we will bring our medical forms, get them signed off, and get one more last piece of paper notarized–then we have a week to finish up some on line training THEN we have our final home study meeting on Friday the 16th back in Atlanta. Then…. more paper work and more waiting.  But it will be different paperwork and different waiting…and I am ready for that.

My sweet friend Mary Alice encouraged me on Sunday to really be praying for our little boy. It has actually been hard to do because of the massive amount of things “to do” and also since our age range has been so big…I end up thinking, “is he in school? is he even born yet? is he in the orphanage? is he still with his birth parents?” All questions that just sit in the still silent air…. but I have been praying, and it is so incredible to know that we have no idea about any of these questions, but the Lord knows them and more than that He is working all things together for the best for this little boy and our family…and most of all His glory.

I am super excited because my friends Charles and Courtney Ficken are starting their home study tomorrow…they are adopting a little girl from Uganda!  I work with Charles (he is the student ministry director at AC), I adore Courtney and their two adorable boys. How fun is it to think that our two dark skinned adopted little ones with super light skinned parents and siblings will grow up together…can you say, “arranged marriage”?  

Until later!

Laurie

The Queen of Half Written Posts

Hello friends….I have been a bad blogger. Its not that I have not written-its just that I have written a few times, and for one reason or another-either have not finished it, or had second thoughts about posting it. Blogging is strange. You can kind of spill your thoughts , but always with the awareness that people might read them and not understand your tone, or maybe even people that dont know me might not read it with MY tone or heart…anyway… I am determined to -even if short and unedited-post this tonight! I think most people go through a blog hiatus …. its not like I dont have anything going on… right?
Adoption update: we had our 2 hr “dig into your personal life” home study meeting. It was odd and slightly impersonal for asking all sorts of extremely personal questions. It could have been also called “tell us all of your issues past, present and future”. But its over and that is good. We have ONE more shorter meeting to wrap up, we have our doctors visits scheduled for March 8 (and we got in with the family practice doctor that everyone raves about here!) After that, we will finish up this on line training, turn it all in and wait some more. Then we start our “dossier”…which I am not sure what that means right now, but it looks like a bunch of official legal documents and a bunch of time and check lists. Then we wait some more and I think after that we are just waiting on our referral and Haiti to approve us on their end…which again, takes a lot of waiting.  Our HOPE is to have all of “our” paperwork and the money owed before travel in before the end of the summer.  I think that is likely considering how it has gone so far…and summer being a lot less “full” of a time.

How am I doing when it comes to our process: Ummmm… I feel like we climbed a big mountain and God really showed up, but we have another big mountain that we have to climb, and I am having a hard time with the energy level and gusto to do it. Just being honest. I am going to do it. We are going to do it. I really just need the Lord to breathe energy and motivation into it. So if you think of it I would love your prayers in this way. Also, we have seen AMAZING provision from the Lord in the finances needed for our little guy–but just like the paperwork-one big mountain is climbed but there are two others just sitting there looking at me….my legs are tired, my head is tired, my back is tired….metaphorically …. BUT the one thing I am VERY sure of, that honestly I might not have been able to say that I was perfectly sure of at the beginning of this, is that God will provide and lead in His own special and wonderful and timely way. I truly don’t feel like the money is “on us”….at all. Which is strange when “we” are “raising support”. It just sounds like an active thing…but … the Lord is truly doing it for us. It is an INCREDIBLE thing to watch and be a part of.
What have we been up to? Well, we have been battling the “plague” as I have called it. Its the time of the year when sickness runs like wildfire through schools. Our girls have been in and out of school and I have been DETERMINED not to get it. I almost got it and I am surprised that I didnt actually get it… But I have been resting, taking airborne (people think its a hoax but if so its a hoax that works for me!) and I think I am in the clear! I’ve been working at lot with Chloe after school with her reading, and she is making such great progress! I have started to sub at the girls school on Fridays and that has been super fun too. I think family life has just been full…not necessarily busy but full.
Its the time of the year when I start looking forward to the simplicity of summer…esp this summer when Matt will be off the whole time! March is just around the corner!
SO thats the latest in a nutshell and here I go…ready, set, PUBLISH!

Daily Struggle-Grace from Paige

I have 5 minutes but I wanted to write while this was fresh…
Matt got me this beautiful bouquet of flowers yesterday for my birthday… because he also sent me on my awesome weekend retreat and got me another pair of my favorite all time jeans (Big Star from Buckle-never will buy another brand!) I didn’t have actual presents to open (please don’t insert a “poor Laurie” here ok?) anyway– I love presents and so these flowers were really precious to me…

You don't even notice a few missing do you?

This morning-as Paige and Chloe were getting ready for school-I saw Paige eyeing my flowers..she then asked me THE question, “Mom, can I take a rose…and maybe a few other flowers to Mrs. Cotter (her teacher)?” UUUGGGGGGHHHHHH…. awkward silence….. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh “Oh that is so sweet Paigey…” hoping that she would relent… but she is Paige so she never relents…

I KNEW the answer. The answer was “of coarse!”…but the answer came with SO MUCH DIFFICULTY!

“Mom, she is really sad because her mom fell and is in the hospital…”
“You won’t miss a few of those flowers.”
“All they are going to do is wilt and they could make my teacher really happy.”

WHY is the battle between the flesh and the spirit SO HARD?! I am TOO thankful for a girl who helps me SO often to put others first, to sacrifice what is “MINE” but not really and continue to pour out and pour out to share Jesus’ rich blessings with others!

SIde note: I got Paige a Ugandan bead necklace from www.Lightgivesheat.com and she wore it to school today, put the HOPE sticker on her binder…I am telling you God is making my big girl into a world changer. With her natural tenacious leadership and her heart of compassion for those in need– you better watch out world! Here comes Paige!

Created for Care Retreat 2012/My 36th Birthday

Today is my birthday and I’m all cozy in my chair-with two sick girls home from school. I am thankful because my job gives me the day off on my bday, I had nothing planned and the girls can just rest. My bday has been quite a mess for years-so much so that at one time I changed it to April–seriously! Colds, ice storms, broken bones, stomach viruses…. but that was just too hard to explain to everyone and actually it was a horrible pattern for my kids… So last year I landed on the new norm for us all: “Birthdays get celebrated ON YOUR birthday”…including me. I am not sure where I heard this-but I know it was from some older, wiser woman-but also, I started a new tradition, each year on my birthday I give one special gift to each of my children-who are true biggest gifts! I take this gift seriously and ask the Lord to show me what it should be. This REALLY helps me to be focused on HOW BLESSED I am! (and not get all “birthday diva” on my family leading to “birthday disappointment”!) So far its worked! Giving is better than getting!

Also, I am back from a GREAT weekend with the Created for Care retreat…I am trying to debrief -with Matt, and the girls and internally…its a little hard.
The details–A mom named Andrea Young took a risk last year to plan a “small retreat” for 25 or so adoptive moms at Lake Lanier to provide support and encouragement in the process of adopting or in adjusting to a new family member in the home. Last year 250 ladies signed up!! This year there were 430 in January and they opened a second retreat in March! It was incredible seeing 430 moms all with the heart for adoption joined together to worship, learn, pray and support each other.
There were speakers, main sessions, breakouts, an inspiring documentary of a couple who founded an organization called Light Gives Heat that are partnering with women in Uganda to provided sustainable income to their families… there was an adoptive mom PJ panel party, I got to have dinner with Aimee Powell (Mac Powell’s wife the lead singer from Third Day) and Shannon Anderson (married to Tai Anderson from Third Day too) -they were awesome and totally normal by the way…. we ate, I napped, the venue was beautiful, the planning of the retreat was a great mesh of professional and personal and intimate at the same time.
Personally, this weekend for me was quiet. I know that sounds strange–with 430 women all connected by our relationship with Jesus and our heart for adoption. There wasn’t a lot of “quietness” or silence–but I knew a total of 2 people going on the weekend (and I loved every minute of my time with Emily and Sara!) But in my world I do a lot of talking, listening, talking, and a bit more listening…I am a BLESSED girl with circles of amazing friends at work, at church (which really IS my work but in the larger sense), at my girls’ school, and in our community… For example I was in a little wreck on Thursday… (I’m fine-my car isnt–and the poor man I hit is on his way back to Mexico because he fled the scene of the accident and was not exactly a US citizen…and didn’t exactly have a drivers license…I feel HORRIBLE about this by the way) but anyway–within 5 minutes of me hitting this poor man, I had 4 of my staff team and one of my friends in my community group THERE …I didnt call anyone-they just were passing by. 5 people! Anyway all of this has to do with my quietness. This weekend I got to be just a bit anonymous–and I got to listen, learn, pray, worship–surrounded by 429 other moms but it was really peaceful.
Some things I took away:
* the reality of adoption is hard but worth it- the reality is that our little boy is currently by the world’s standards and maybe in his heart–an orphan…he doesn’t currently have a family, a home, and all of the love and security that goes with that…. Maybe supernaturally God will transform his “orphan spirit” into the spirit of a son, but likely it will be a process that happens “after the airport”–and will take time, possibly rejection, and we need to pray for wisdom on how to love/parent and yet beg the Lord to do the internal work!
* As a mother one of my BIGGEST jobs is to be a “treasure seeker” and call forth the treasure that is IN each of my children… God has put gifts in each of them and my voicing them begins to become part of their identity. This is a POWERFUL thing!
* God calls me to think a few things about myself in Him. “I am perfume” (the more I spend time with Him, the more the fragrance of Christ is around me), “I am a mirror” (reflecting Jesus to my family and those around me) and “I am treasure” (deeply loved and found in Jesus). These things I also can say and pray for my children!
*There are a LOT of families in this country putting BIG trust in God to care for children who need families!
* If God calls you to adoption, and you don’t have the money to afford it-He will provide it! What He calls He funds!

I think the thing that my heart left with was a continuation of what my main struggle was at the onset of our “we are really going to do this” phase. Adoption means CHANGE. Change, quite possibly means mess, mess means chaos, I hate mess and chaos. Like…. its a core value of mine to take a mess and make it clean. And in this I am saying, “Lord, I am open and welcoming change…maybe even really hard change–bring on the mess and the chaos.” And just to be honest friends, that is the hardest thing for me. Its not the fundraising, its not the parenting, its the process and paperwork–its the change. BUT as I stood there in worship Sunday morning, all on my own, in the far corner of the room…God impressed on my heart–that He can be trusted, that my gravitation for order can be good, but I am putting it on the alter for the sake of a bigger gift. I am choosing bold faith–rather than fear. And most of my life-I have chosen fear. This state actually feels “good”. Weird, but good. Its a bit not “Laurie”. Our answer to so many questions is “I dont know”, “I’m not sure”…. but you know what? The more I step in this, the more SURE I am that the Lord knows. He is the only one who needs to know right now. He is GOOD and His plans are good! (this might be a post for later-but truly believing that God is 100% good and His plans are 100% good has been a journey for me)
I am too thankful to be on the ride for this journey!
Thank you Created for Care team for the boldness and hard work it took to pull this weekend off!
Until later!
–Laurie
PS I am aware that I have been severely lacking in photos lately on my little blog.. I will work on it!